It's only looking back over the year as a whole that I realize ... I was in a (mild) depression for eight months of the year. Eight out of 12. I can be so specific because I remember the precise point I came out of it, just after Labor Day. When suddenly the world was in technicolor again.
Katrina sucked. And much of the spring and summer was always colored with my trying to come to grips with it. Having faith. Losing hope. Watching what my friends and family were going through. Spending 10 days in the middle of it.
It took a lot of time to process and learn to let go. I can only do what I can do ... I can't fix it.
That all said ... there are a few things, good and bad, I reflect on about 2006.
** Too many young people dying. It took me a long time to try and process Charlyn's death. And to let go of the anger - not just of the general unfairness of it - but of everything she had to go through above and beyond because of - say it with me now - Katrina.
** Focus on what's important. There aren't enough hours in the day for me to do everything I'd like to; therefore, I have to pick out the ones that are the most important. More time with my husband (and dog) are at the top of the list. I've also decided to actually try and pursue acting again (waiver theatre doesn't count - that's there to feed my soul, not advance my career).
** I have gained a deep appreciation of BBC-America, though their refusal to air beyond a second season of nearly any current show is mind-boggling to me. So I have gained an even deeper appreciation of Amazon UK and a region-free DVD player.
** New actresses I admire. I've always liked Mary Louise Parker. I really fell in love with her work in ANGELS IN AMERICA. I'd read it, I'd seen it, and I never ever understood the character of the wife. I just didn't get it. I watched her for one scene and a giant light bulb went off. She really is brilliant, isn't she? Then we got Showtime and I started watching WEEDS. If you don't watch it, start. There's one scene - in season one, I think - where she's at a ridiculously long light known as "the punishment light" - and she doesn't say a word, but a million thoughts and emotions race through her head as she sits - alone - at this light for an unbearably long time. Wow.
My new favorite comedic actress is
Tamsin Greig. (see my joy of BBC comedies, above) GREEN WING, LOVE SOUP, BLACK BOOKS. Her timing is brilliant. Can I be her when I grow up?
** The joys of EBay. I'm super poor, but I've learned to get some amazing deals - and I learned that I can get great clothes and shoes! I love spending almost no money on good clothes (rather than almost no money on seriously cheap clothes, which is what I normally do). (I also got my new computer from ebay, as well as some great software deals). Happy, happy girl. It ties my love of bargains to the thrill of the hunt (I won! I won!) ;)
** Trading in a worship of the Parking Gods for
the Easter Bunny. That's gotten me street parking in Hollywood more times than I can count, not to mention FREE PARKING in a lot the night of Hollywood Happy Hour!
** Starting to get into shape - losing 10 pounds! Yay!
** Changes at work. Mostly good. Some just weird. Still I could not ask for a happier, healthier work environment. Or a better boss.
** Supporting my husband with
his new business.
I'm very proud!!!
For all of the sadness in 2006 ... there was some good stuff too. But I'm pretty ready for 2007.
