... just not taking it on the road. :)
No, seriously. Last night I heard someone make a comment about being a certain age and not having his shit together. I pointed out that I was several years older and didn't have mine together yet either.
Just a little light-hearted exchange, but it really got me thinking.
At the start of the school year (hey, I work at a school, it's my benchmark for everything), I made a point of stating that I needed some change, and outlined the things I was going to do this fall to work towards this change.
Now, I don't set myself huge lofty goals. I generally try to give myself incredibly attainable goals, so I can cheer and move on to the next one.
And yet somehow ... now it's November, and I've hardly touched on those things. Almost any of them.
Sometimes circumstances get in the way; out of the eight weeks since that declaration, I've been sick at least a full three. (Not consecutively, but still pretty ridiculous.) That interferes with my goals of hitting the gym and other exercise classes, and interferes with my goals of getting the backlog of Ark work that's sitting on my dining room table. The lack of exercise interferes with my goals of continuing weight loss and general health. The lack of getting Ark work sorted out interferes with my ability to have time to begin to tackle the other things on my list.
So now I'm sitting here, deeming myself a failure because I haven't managed to do any of this in eight weeks ... at least not enough of it ... and I'm wondering, really, WHY. Am I just getting in my own way? And if so, how, and how can I stop it?
One goal I did manage to achieve: I kept putting it out to the universe that I really wanted and needed to work on a project where I was JUST AN ACTRESS. And that I really wanted and needed to get out and work at different theatres, with different people. And it came to me. And I'm loving being out of my comfort zone. I'm loving working with new and wonderful people. And I'm loving just showing up ... and acting.
Now ... I just need to tackle the rest. And figure out why I'm in my own way.
