I have no idea.

I just ... have no idea. I'll keep saying it. No idea. Nary a clue.

About what, you might ask?

Anything, I think.

I'm in New Orleans. That, of course, all by itself, raises a whole host of emotions. Especially as I find myself looking for places that don't exist.

Add to that why I'm here: my father, who just turned 83, has been in the hospital since just before the new year.

Add to that - since I wanted get as many business days in as possible, I'm here for six days, and it wasn't worth having Dick take off work and cancel a week of rehearsals on an already tight schedule ... so I'm here solo. Which sucks. As I sit here, in my dad's living room, seeing ... seeing things I don't want to see ... and I wish very much that he was here.

I've been to the hospital twice today. I don't like hospitals. I imagine no one does, really, but the smell of them ...

Sigh. I know that I was building up something horrible in my mind before coming down here, but upon my arrival I find that I at once overestimated and underestimated the severity of the situation. I know that sounds nonsensical. But less than 24 hours into this trip, I'm less worried about some things and more worried about others.

It all just makes my head spin. I'm sitting here, alternately blogging and playing solitaire. There's a slew of things I need to do - my dad gave me a nice to-do list! - but I just can't bring myself to start. Bleh.